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Recently (a couple weeks ago) an Apple software update made my iChat completely stop working. When I would sign on, no buddies would appear, and eventually it would flicker on and off repeatedly until AIM kicked me off with a too many sign on attempts error.
This thread solved it for me:
http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=246789
The solution was to log into my router’s setup page, click on WAN Setup, and click “Disable SPI Firewall”. Voila, that worked.

Other settings I tried that may work for you:
In WAN settings on the netgear page, uncheck “Respond to Ping on Internet Port” (mine was unchanged)
In UPnP on the netgear page some pages recommend turning UPnP on, but mine is off (try both). I will experiment later with whether this will affect audio/video conferences.
Delete the file ~/Library/Preferences/com.apple.iChat.plist (this will make you re-setup your account)
Delete the file ~/Library/Preferences/com.apple.iChat.AIM.plist

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